Questionnaire: Are we ready for marriage?

Thirty questions to consider and discuss, selected by our panel of counsellors.
Method: Consider them on your own, then discuss your responses with partner.

1. What are my hopes and expectations for our life together?

2. Is there any pattern of behaviour that really worries either of us?

3. What do we, as a couple, want out of our marriage? (Be specific...)

4. How do I/we think our relationship will change after we are married?

5. Am I ever frightened by my future spouse's behaviour? (when?)

6. What should be the agreed level of confidentiality between us?

7. What values/habits will I bring from my own family, into our marriage?

8. Do I perceive him/her as being jealous or controlling? (In what ways?)

9. How well do we listen to each other? How do we continue to do this?

10. Do I/you feel "special" in our relationship? In what ways?

11. How well do we know each other's health-history?

12. How will/should our household chores be divided up ?

13. How freely can we each pursue our own interests, later on?

14. How will we make sure to have quality couple-time together?

15. Can we talk openly to each other about money issues?

16. What are our thoughts about a shared budget, once married?

17. Do I/you consider nights-out and holidays as a need or luxury?

18. Do we both know where our important documents are located?

19. How many children should we have, ideally? (& how to plan them?)

20. When do we hope or plan to have our children?

21. Do we have a shared parenting policy, at least in outline?

22. Which one of us should stay at home after we have children?

23. What type of birth control should we use in planning our family?

24. Do you think faith and spirituality are important in our marriage?

25. Are we comfortable discussing our sexual preferences?

26. Are we comfortable discussing our sexual fears, likes and dislikes?

27. When making decisions, do we face issues, or try to avoid conflict?

28. Is there anything in our relationship that need resolving before marrying?

29. How do you expect or want me to change, to fit your preferences?

30. Are we both willing to keep up good communication and be truly intimate with each other?

* If you STRONGLY DISAGREE on five or more of these issues, a shared counselling session is advisable.


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