Where can we get married?
Canon Law: "Marriages should be celebrated in the parish in which either of the contracting parties has a domicile or a month's residence, or if they are travelling, in the parish in which they are actually residing. With the permission of the Ordinary (bishop) or the parish priest, a marriage may be celebrated elsewhere." (Can. 1115.)
Can we have our wedding ceremony out of doors? The norm is that it be celebrated in a properly consecrated church building. While the local bishop can allow a marriage to be celebrated in another "suitable place" he is unlikely to approve a sacramental marriage being celebrated outdoors.
For regulations about venues for civil marriage, see Registry Office Website.
May we marry on Sunday?
A bishop could allow a Sunday wedding within his diocese but it rarely happens , because: *1. the Sunday Mass has precedence, and *2. it's burdensome for parish clergy, who are otherwise busy on Sundays.
The local regulation in Dublin is: "No marriage may be celebrated on a Sunday or Holy Day without the permission of the Archbishop." (Pastoral Directives, 1982). Clearly, for a substantial reason a bishop may dispense with this regulation. But it is resisted in practice as it could set an unwelcome precedent.
What Documents are needed, for a Catholic wedding?
Check with the parish priest where the wedding is to be held, who is responsible to see that the required documents are present.
Always you will need these three:
a) Baptismal certificate; of recent date; from your native parish
b) Pre-Nuptial Enquiry Form (by a priest of your parish)
c) Letter of Freedom (or Affidavit)
Usually these also:
d) Certificate from a pre-marriage course
e) A Confirmation certificate
f) Licence from the bride's parish (to wed elsewhere)
g) Document from your local registrar (ROI only).
If marrying abroad,
your wedding papers go to your wedding church-venue via your local bishop's office.
May a Handfasting ritual be included in our ceremony?
If your celebrant agrees to it as an optional extra, discuss it in advance. If he is not familiar with this practise, you could print a sample of what you have in mind. Try to find a simple Handfasting ritual, including a prayer that the priest might agree to use.
If allowed, the Handfasting could come before the exchange of rings; or prior to the Nuptial Blessing, just after the Our Father. While the priest says the Nuptial Blessing, the couple's hands are bound with the ornamental cords, by the Best Man and Bridesmaid.
If the couple already have children, should it be mentioned?
If in fact the couple have been living together and already have children, their wedding booklet should probably reflect that fact. Your celebrant can pray for your child/children by name; and modify the other references, e.g. "that they continue in harmony" or that "now they bring their union before almighty God as husband and wife, for a blessing on their shared future life."
Must both parties be confirmed, before marriage?
Canon Law says: "Catholics who have not yet received the sacrament of confirmation are to receive it before being admitted to marriage, if this can be done without grave inconvenience." Can. 1065
What would constitute a grave inconvenience is a matter of interpretation. Check this out ASAP with the local priest where you are getting married, as in practice some dioceses insist upon confirmation before marriage, while others do not.
If we wish to marry abroad, what are our options?
You might hold the civil ceremony at home and the religious ceremony abroad - or both can be abroad, in which case you'll need help from a wedding-planner in the foreign country, plus a document from the Dept. of Foreign Affairs, stating that there is no legal impediment to your marriage. Only if the civil wedding is held in Ireland will the marriage be formally registered here. If it is held abroad, make sure you bring home a copy of your civil marriage record. For other details, see Abroad, and the Registry Officewebsite www.groireland .ie/ getting_married.htm.
The wedding documents need to be prepared and sent to the place of the wedding well in advance... sometimes as much as three months before the wedding date.
The priest to officiate may be a local priest in the wedding-church or an invited celebrant that you bring in, with the consent of the administrator of the wedding-church. If the invited celebrant is travelling out from Ireland to officiate, we suggest a stipend of about Euro 500.00 for him, to cover travel and accommodation costs. This is more gracious than asking that a list of expenses be invoiced later.
It is very important to show respect for the customs of the local church where the wedding is held. A well-designed wedding-booklet for the ceremony will help to allay any anxieties on that score. Some clergy abroad have been offended by the apparent lack of reverence and decorum shown by Irish wedding parties, their non-response to the prayers, loud chattering. in church, issues regarding modesty of dress etc. Sensitivity to local customs in such matters will help ensure a continuing welcome for other Irish couples who wish to come after you to those places.
May non-practicing Catholics marry in Church?
This is a delicate question, that may well be raised by the priest at the pre-nuptial enquiry (interviewing the couple about their wedding plans). Clearly, for a church wedding to be authentic, some measure of "belonging" within the Catholic community is required.
Who "belongs in the Church"? Who are to be regarded as practicing Catholics today? The phrases seem to cover a wide spectrum of levels of "belonging", from regular attendance at Mass each Sunday, to a looser or occasional participation at Church functions - say at weddings, funerals, anniversaries and major feasts, and a general acceptance of Catholic faith and morals. It would always include a personal trust in Jesus Christ as Saviour, allied with some sense of God's presence in our life, and some linke with the Catholic community of faith.
If this description of Church membership applies to even member one of the couple, then a Catholic sacramental wedding is possible. The priest interviewing the couple will probably urge them to share in the life of their local parish as a married couple. This is part of his pastoral duty, helping them prepare for sacramental marriage.
Some declared intention of future taking part in the life of the church is normally a requirement during the couple's "Prenuptial Enquiry" interview with their priest.
What regulations apply to Mixed Marriages?
The wedding may be held within a nuptial Mass, or without Mass, according to the couple's preference. The main difficulty arises regarding sharing in Holy Communion.
If the wedding is celebrated within a nuptial Mass, according to Catholic discipline the celebrant may - by way of exception and under limitied conditions (see below) - give Holy Communion at the wedding to the non-Catholic spouse, if he/she is a baptised Christian, but this permission does not extend to the non-Catholic guests in the congregation.
What should non-Catholic guests do, instead of Holy Communion?
In many cases, it is customary for non-Catholic guests to come forward at Communion time, to receive a blessing from the priest. They can indicate that this is their intention by having their arms folded before the chest, and slightly bowing the head. The priest will be happy to offer a personal prayer of blessing for them.
Should our wedding be in our parish church?
A Catholic sacramental wedding must be celebrated in a building that is church-approved for the solemnisation of a marriage. The canonical or "normal" place for marriage between Catholics is the Bride's parish church. However, with the consent of her parish priest, the wedding may be held in any public Catholic church, with the consent of the administrator of that church.
The administrator of the church where the wedding is to be held will ensure that the couple make some formal marriage preparation, and that their wedding documents are in order, before the wedding takes place. If this priest is not also your celebrant, he should be offered a donation for taking care of your wedding documents; we suggest something in the order of 100 euros.
Popular wedding churches: Because of their location or other features, some churches are in great demand for weddings. If they do not have large Sunday congregations, there may be a higher fee attached to their use. Also, they will need to be booked not less than three months in advance of the wedding.
May a relative officiate at our wedding?
Yes, it is common for a priest who is a relative or friend of either family to officiate at weddings. In Canon Law, any Catholic priest with church faculties (i.e. not debarred) may officiate at the wedding sacrament, as long as he has the written permission ("delegation") from the Administrator of the church where the wedding is to take place. A "delegation-form" will be left in the Sacristy, for your priest to sign before celebrating your marriage.
Thanking the Celebrant. If you choose to have your Celebrant as a guest at your wedding reception, it is only right that in one or other of the speeches (normally, the bridegroom's) he be publicly thanked for the manner in which the marriage ceremony was conducted.
Note that only priests who are on the Registrar's Register of Solemnisers can legally solemnise your marriage under Irish law.
Can we have a civil ceremony with a Church blessing afterwards?
"We are lapsed Catholics who are getting married civilly and not in church, but for the sake of our parents we'd like to have some kind of church blessing from a priest either during the civil ceremony or at the reception afterwards, is this allowed?"
In Canon Law, the proper place for Catholics to marry is the church. If a Catholic chooses to get married in a civil ceremony a priest is not allowed to formally bless the wedding afterwards, as this could imply that the Church approves of the purely civil ceremony. This prohibition exists in Ireland, despite the fact that in some other countries, in order to fulfil the law a couple must marry civilly before being married in Church.
Must we invite our local parish priest?
It is not necessary to have the priest either of your home parish or of the place where the wedding is held, as celebrants at your wedding. Indeed, with pressures of other work, your parish priest may prefer if you can bring a priest of your own choice to conduct your wedding.
As a courtesy, you may, if you wish, invite the parish priest to concelebrate, leaving him free to say Yes or No. If he does join in, the priests will share out the ceremonial tasks.
Even if the parish priest does not concelebrate, he may attend the church at the start of the ceremony, to meet your celebrant and see that everything is in place; or he may delegate this task to the Sacristan.
Are Wedding Banns required, before our Wedding?
Publication of Wedding Banns is no longer required by the universal Canon Law (since 1983), but some parishes still publish banns following the older tradition.
To make certain of what practice applies in your parish, you should consult your local parish priest about it, and follow his directive.
What Fees are payable to the parish and to your celebrant?
Fee for use of the church building and for administering your documents.. This fee is variable, from one parish to another. Wherever the main source of income is from weddings, the fee may be correspondingly higher.
Stipend for the Sacristan. If s/he has been especially helpful to the couple( €20 to €40 would be appropriate)
Stipend for the Celebrant. There is no set fee for the priest's sacramental ministry; but it is customary to make a decent donation in appreciation for his services.
Many couples give about €200.00. Otherwise we suggest that it be about half of the couple's joint daily earnings (pre-tax!), whatever that amounts to. But it is really left to the couple's sense of proportion
Can we plan the ceremony for our own wedding?
Very much so... after all, the Wedding ceremony belongs to the couple. You have the right to plan its details, within the parameters of Catholic liturgical custom. You could compose your own wedding booklet, from the elements given on this site, ( Wedding Booklet.) Let your celebrant know that you are doing so, and ask his advice, whether he has any elements he wants included, etc.
Among the details to plan are: Music, Bible Readings, Formula of the Vows, Candle Ceremony, Intercessions, etc. You have a choice of having a Wedding Celebration, or a Wedding Mass which includes the wedding ceremony. Either is a perfectly good choice.
If one of you is not a Catholic, it may be good to decide for the Wedding Celebration (without Mass), so that there would be no lack of inclusion of all for example in familiarity with Mass or in receiving Holy Communion, both for the one who is not Catholic, and for guests who not.
Working with your own wedding booklet makes it easy for the celebrant to conduct the ceremony according to your expressed wishes.
Can we have readings at the wedding, that are not from the Bible?
Yes, but the readings used during the "Liturgy of the Word" (i.e. up to the Gospel and Homily) are meant to be from the Bible. You could have a short and thoughtful, partnership-oriented reading of your choice, during the period of meditation, after the Holy Communion.
Any other deviations from the usual order of ceremonies should be discussed beforehand with your celebrant.
Music choices for our Wedding ceremony?
They are quite extensive, and are described here on this site, with examples of current practice.
The only music that is formally excluded is such as would be inappropriate to the religious setting of the ceremony.
If in doubt about a particular choice, why not discuss it with your organist (or regular wedding singer - they have studied the matter) or with your celebrant?
How can a Papal Blessing be obtained, for a newly married couple?
This is not required, but if you want a papal blessing to be read out at your wedding, you should apply for it at least three months in advance of the wedding, along with a letter of recommendation from your parish priest.
(Select the scroll you want, in any major bookshop.)
The cost of the scroll includes a standard offerring that goes to the designated papal charities, in return for the favour of having your scroll signed in the Vatican, by some official, on behalf of the Holy Father.
If you want the papal blessing scroll to include a wedding photo of yourselves, obviously you must incorporate that choice in the sort of scroll that you select.
Who registers our Marriage civilly?
The documents for the registrar's office are those signed by the couple, the witnesses and the celebrant, immediately after the ceremony. Strictly speaking, the Bridegroom is responsible to see that these are forwarded in due time to the registrar's office. In practice, he may leave this task to the Administrator of the church where the wedding takes place.
At some future point, Ireland might follow the general continental practice of separating the registration from the church ceremony, and having it done at the register office, before the ceremony.
Can we include Handfasting in our wedding ceremony?
This ritual is of neo-pagan origin, and is not part of the Catholic marriage rite. However, your celebrant might agree to use a Christian version of it as an optional extra. You could propose a simple adaptation of the Handfasting symbol, such as on our Handfasting page.
Fr. Pat Rogers
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