If marrying abroad, your wedding papers go to your wedding church-venue via your local bishop's office.

May we have "Handfasting" at our wedding?

It is not part of the Roman Ritual for marriage, but if your celebrant agrees to including this ritual in your wedding ceremony, it can be done in some form. In case he is not already familiar with this optional rite, you should print for him a sample of what you have in mind. We have our own, version of a Handfasting ritual online here, including a prayer to accompany it which the priest may find agreeable.

The Handfasting can be done directly after the wedding vows and before the exchange of rings. Or it can be done during the Nuptial Blessing towards the end of the wedding Mass. While the priest says the Handfasting prayer, the couple's hands are bound with the ornamental cords, by the Best Man and Bridesmaid.

What should go into our wedding booklet?

Assuming that the couple wish to furnish a booklet to help their guests follow the wedding ceremony, they should include, as a minimum, all the optional texts and readings they have selected, for their particular wedding. They can also, if they wish, include the set text of the Mass.

Suppose the couple already have one or more children?
The prayers of the set nuptial mass all focus on a couple as they set off on a new life together as husband and wife; it prays for harmony and for the gift of a family, and for "setting out on a new life together." Now, if the couple have in practice been living as husband and wife for a number of years and already have children, surely their personalised booklet should reflect that fact. Pray for your children by name; and modify the other references, e.g. "that they continue in harmony" or that "now, as husband and wife, they bring their union before almighty God, for a blessing on this, their wedding day."

Is Confirmation required before marriage, for a Catholic?

It is encouraged rather than obligatory, that a Catholics would have received the Sacrament of Confirmation before receiving the Sacrament of Matrimony (i.e. be married in the Church.)

Canon Law states that "Catholics who have not yet received the sacrament of confirmation are to receive it before being admitted to marriage, if this can be done without grave inconvenience." Can. 1065

What would constitute a 'grave inconvenience' is clearly a matter of interpretation. You should check this out ASAP with the local priest where you are getting married, as in practice some dioceses are very insistent on confirmation before marriage, while others are not.

You can hold the civil ceremony at home and the religious ceremony abroad - or both can be abroad, in which case you'll need help from a wedding-planner in the foreign country, plus a document from the Dept. of Foreign Affairs, stating that there is no legal impediment to your marriage. Only if the civil wedding is held in Ireland will the marriage be formally registered here. If it is held abroad, make sure you bring home a copy of your civil marriage record. For other details, see Abroad, and the Registry website http://www.groireland.ie/getting_married.htm

The wedding documents (above) need to be prepared and sent to the place of the wedding well in advance... sometimes as much as three months before the wedding date.

The priest to officiate may be a local priest in the wedding-church or an invited celebrant that you bring in, with the consent of the administrator of the wedding-church. If the invited celebrant is travelling out from Ireland to officiate, we suggest an honorarium of about Euro 500.00 for him, to cover all his travel and accommodation costs. This is more gracious than asking him to submit a list of expenses later.

It is very important to show respect for the customs of the local church where the wedding is held. A well-designed wedding-booklet for the ceremony will help to allay any anxieties on that score. Some clergy abroad have been offended by the apparent lack of reverence and decorum shown by Irish wedding parties, their non-response to the prayers, loud chattering. in church, issues regarding modesty of dress etc. Sensitivity to local customs in such matters will help ensure a continuing welcome for other Irish couples who wish to come after you to those places.

What about a bilingual ceremony?

Where the first language of bride and groom is not the same - as is so often the case in multi-cultural Ireland - you may wish to have the wedding ceremony celebrated in bilingual fashion, for the sake of family members and guests with a limited knowledge of English. You priest celebrant may well be able to read all or part of the ceremony in both languages. If not, then you should at least provide the wedding text in a Bilingual Booklet, for the sake of your guests.

May non-practicing Catholics marry in Church?

But who "belongs in the Church"? Who are to be regarded as practicing Catholics today? The phrases seem to cover a wide spectrum of levels of "belonging", from regular attendance at Mass each Sunday, to a looser or occasional participation at Church functions - say at weddings, funerals, anniversaries and major feasts, and a general acceptance of Catholic faith and morals. It would always include a personal trust in Jesus Christ as Saviour, allied with some sense of God's presence in our life, and some linke with the Catholic community of faith.

If this description of Church membership applies to even one of the couple, then a Catholic sacramental wedding is possible. The priest interviewing the couple will probably urge them to share in the life of their local parish as a married couple. This is part of his pastoral duty, helping them prepare for sacramental marriage.

Some intention of future partaking in the life of the church is a normal requirement, during the couple's "Prenuptial Enquiry" interview with their priest.

At a Mixed Marriage, what regulations apply?

This marriage may be held within a nuptial Mass, or without Mass, according to the couple's preference.

If it is celebrated within a nuptial Mass, Catholic regulations allow the non-Catholic Christian partner to receive Holy Communion at the wedding, but this permission does not (yet) extend to the non-Catholics in the congregation.

May our non-Catholic guests receive Holy Communion?
In many cases, it is customary for non-Catholic participants to come forward at Communion time, if they wish, to receive a blessing from the priest. They can indicate that this is their intention by folding the arms before the chest, and slightly bowing the head. The priest will be most happy to offer a personal prayer of blessing for them.